Anal sex for beginners – the key to the backdoor

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Anal sex for beginners – the key to the backdoor  

Thank God, anal sex is no longer a total taboo – it is, on the contrary, a subject of interest as it has never been before. Anal sex is storming more and more bedrooms and many couples and sex partners are experimenting like there’s no tomorrow. This hardly comes as a surprise as both, donor and receiver are in for lots of fun and fantastic climaxes. Our booty simply is a highly erogenous centre as our anus is packed with thousands of sensitive and easily aroused nerve endings. Not to mention, that the primary sexual organs are “just around the corner” and are therefore also stimulated all the time – both passively and actively.

No matter if it is about men on men, men on women or women on women: Let’s talk about all the important facts of anal sex. About what to do before having it, while having it and after having it. And about how plenty of fun is guaranteed.

Getting ready for anal sex: Well prepared is already half plugged in

If you are ready to risk backdoor-sex, you’ll probably know one thing: It normally doesn’t happen that spontaneously. Good anal sex requires intense foreplay and other important preparations. But the basic rule should be: You do, what feels best!

Hygiene: Is a shower enough – or do I need an enema or an intestinal flushing?

Basically, you do not need an enema or anything before having anal sex – that is, if you don’t feel the urge to go to the toilet. There really is no reason to expect unpleasant surprises. How about taking a shower together? It gets you clean and stimulated at the same time.

Most important is, how you feel about it. If you still feel kind of “dirty” right after taking a shower, you probably won’t find yourself in a relaxed and turned on state. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with having an enema or a clyster if it helps you to feel “clean” inside. It flushes your rectum right before having sex (best would be 30 minutes to one hour before you get started) and will probably free your mind.

Anal waxing or shaving: Do I have to do that?

Absolutely not! Just like intimate shaving too, anal hair removal is a matter of taste. Talking about taste - if you’re thinking about getting into rimming (anal oral sex), you might feel a bit more relaxed after a professional hair removal. At least for your first anal waxing, we recommend, you go to a professional studio – it’s just the same as with a Brazilian waxing – if done wrong, anal waxing can be painful and that quickly takes the fun out of everything. 

And please be extremely careful with the razor as well: cutting yourself in the anal area is not only very unpleasant but can quickly lead to inflammation or infection.

Expectations and reality – confidence and communication

For a long time, anal sex used to be a taboo within bedrooms. Which is sad, because if you are willing to have backdoor sex, you want to have confidence in your partner. That’s why beforehand you should openly voice all of your concerns as well as wishes and expectations. Communication leads to confidence and confidence can literally help open sealed pathways. “Being into your partner” gets a whole new level of meaning. The more relaxed and open you are, the better it will be.

And if it still doesn’t work the first time – dispite all the preparation and confidence: don’t be frustrated.: maybe it was just the moment, maybe you weren’t relaxed enough … talk about it, laugh about it and try again, when the mood hits you.

Anal sex in practise: The best positions, toys and techniques

The first rule of anal sex: Do, whatever pleases you! The more you do it, the more you learn about positions and possibilities and the more you will find out about what you like – and what is not your thing. Take your time and give it more than just one try – and in the meantime maybe we can provide you with some tips.

Pain during anal sex – what to do when it hurts?

“Isn’t that painful?” – probably the most asked questions when it comes to anal sex. Of course, our answer cannot be a clear “Never!” Before you will have perfect anal sex, it might nip and pinch here and there. BUT: Anal sex only is really good when it’s done in the right way! And that means: Anal sex should not – and must not – hurt. An extensive foreplay, a fair amount of lubrication (especially around your botty) and a relaxed atmosphere should be enough, that both partners really enjoy sex from behind. In case in does hurt sometimes: Take a break, caress and massage each other and try to keep the fun up. Don’t get stressed out – every new start is difficult!

Is it true, that the sphincter can „wear out” because of anal sex?

No, it’s not! Even though the sphincter has to be widened and loosened up a bit so that one is able, to have anal sex. But this is, because the sphincter is a really strong muscle and therefore is able to contract to its normal state again. Right after anal sex you might feel “a bit stretched” – but that is just temporarily. You really don’t have to worry about becoming incontinence because of anal sex.

The best positions - especially for beginners.

There is no such a thing as “the best” position – but some positions are more comfortable than others, especially in the beginning. The easiest one is, when the receiver’s legs are strongly bent. This way the rectum is quite straight and the insertion can be very pleasing. And there is a bonus: Your bum is displayed nicely and the other one gets a great view.

Examples for those positions are:

  • Doggy Style (kneeling or standing up)
  • Lazy Dog 
  • Spoons

If you are the receiver and in the beginning, you want to feel more secure, maybe you want to try a position in which the donor doesn’t get to “reign” over you and where you have more control - for example, how deep your partner is allowed inside.

For this we would recommend:

  • Cowgirl or reverse cowboy 
  • Lotus

Just keep on trying what you like and what feels good. 

Pre-stretching the anus and still having fun? All you need is toy!

Pre-stretching is a big thing with anal sex – and to a certain extent it does make sense. Sex toys in various sizes are most suitable for that task. But don’t forget the most important thing: Butt plugs, vibrators and other sex toys are not made only for exercise and stretching – they’re made for fun! Masturbation, foreplay, sex with your partner – the options are plenty: Just a little tip: Start small. Maybe use a small plug or vibrator – and maybe use it only on the outside first. Take it slowly and find out, what you really like and how “deep” you wanna delve in.

Anal-oral: Rimming or Analingus

Rimming (aka anilingus) is a quite special and popular form of anal sex, with emphasis on the oral pleasure. Anything goes – from soft kisses over licking to inserting the tongue into the anus. “And this is supposed to be fun?” we hear the novices cry out. Yes, it is! Partly because it is “forbidden fruit”, making it even more exciting. But what is more: your anal area is packed with plenty and unbelievably sensitive nerve endings, which makes an oral stimulation a very special experience.

 Rimming – Hygiene is simply a matter of taste

Just like with anal sex, people have hygiene issues with anilingus. And the “rules” are basically the same: Take a shower or a bath before you get started – preferably together. An enema can make you feel better about it – but is not necessary.

For spontaneous moments or if special safety is wished for, you can use dental dams. With these you avoid direct contact between your tongue and the anus. That’s too much of a hospital-like atmosphere for your taste? Then sweeten your entry into the world of anilingus with a bit of syrup, honey or whipped cream – it’s worth it! And, of course, your tongue doesn’t have to do all the work by itself. Just add some fingers to the game … or a little toy – your imagination is the limit.

Are there risks with anal sex?

The neighbours could complain about the noise … but seriously: as beautiful as anal sex can be – it does come with some risks. Risks you can avoid. Injuries, tears on the sphincter or the intestinal wall and infections are possible, but very unlikely, if you stay relaxed and careful. And there is no such thing as too little silicone lubricant. Especially if you use a viscous gel on a natural basis – that “greases” things properly and protects the intestinal flora.

A risk of infection can almost be precluded if you use condoms. Something we would highly recommend at this point. It is particularly important to change the condoms between anal and vaginal intercourse, to prevent vaginal infections.

Let’s get straight to the point: Anal orgasm – truth or myth?

The ability to have an anal orgasm depends on your individual anatomy. And there are not only the obvious differences between men and women, but it also differs from person to person. In theory, an anal orgasm is quite possible. Both, the clitoral triangle (consisting of the clitoral glans, the clitoral body and the vaginal opening) as well as the prostate gland are highly stimulated by anal intercourse and this can lead to a very intense orgasm. Having your penis or your vagina stimulated at the same time might award you with a completely new and indescribable sexual feeling – that you should have experienced. 
Still, you should not expect the same kind of orgasm, that you have while being vaginally penetrated or while masturbating. 
It’s completely different – and at the same time unbelievable … in the truest sense.