Fetter and being fettered. The laws of bondage
Fetter and being fettered. The laws of bondage
The will to try the game with the ??? is greater than ever. Ever since Christian Gray blurred the boundaries between lust, power and tingling eroticism with the hard but heartfelt seduction of Anastasia Steele to the longing fantasies of millions of women - and men - the interest in bondage is booming.
No wonder, because the play of power and dominance, seduction and devotion, pushes body and mind to new frontiers - and thus, to new heights and unexpected passions.
And not only that: Many experienced bondage lovers also appreciate new ways of bonding and understanding each other.
How to get there?
Sit down and read this right away!
What is bondage?
Bondage is a special form of BDSM, i. e. from "Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism"
The word bondage means as much as slavery, and thus, it is precisely the sensual core of the sex practice: In bondage, one person dominates verbally and physically another, who submissively surrenders to all seductions, love plays and punishments of the so-called "top" or "dom".
At this the "Bottom" or "Sub" enjoys being at the dom's mercy and the loss of control due to fixations and restrictions of one's own freedom of movement. Both roles can of course be played by both sexes! In general, we simply call it "the dom" and "the sub".
There are no limits to your imagination: silk scarves, handcuffs, chains, gags or special bondage toys leave room for creativity. In spite of all the euphoria for "doing each other hard", trust is also very important! Specially to test the shared limits of lust and to fully enjoy this special, somehow wicked attraction.
Bondage-Techniques
From cuffed wrists to complex whole-body fixations, which are usually particularly aesthetic because they set decisive body regions in scene and make them accessible, everything is "feasible". Lying down, standing or even hanging as in suspension bondage - but this is definitely not for beginners!
Bondage basically begins where a partner hands over control to some extend and puts himself and his ecstasy completely into the hands of a dominant person.
From this point on everything is possible that really gets both partners going - from a gentle play with feathers on nipples, penis, buttocks or vagina to hot wax, spanking and electro-stimulation.
Popular Bondage-Positions
First attempts in bondage spice up every foreplay immensely and let you guess what awaits you in the deep world of bondage.... With these positions you can start wonderfully into exciting bondage experiences:
- Hogtie: The sub is lying on the stomach, the hands are tied behind the back to the ankles.
- Spread Eagle: The sub is lying on the back, hands and feet are tied star-shaped to bedpost or similar.
- Strapado: The sub is kneeling, and the hands are fixated behind the back.
Result: It's served! ; -)
Soft Bondage – meaning „soft“
Not everything that says soft .... Soft bondage often uses handcuffs, ropes or bondage tape (link to the corresponding part within the article) to tie up the hands, which usually give the "sub" a touch of freedom of movement. This is also a special attraction, because despite the bondage feeling of power and subjugation, many positions and penetration variations are still possible - but of course only those the "dom" allows ...
Especially for beginners soft bondage is an interesting way for a spicy upgrade of the foreplay! A way to try - for example - first bondage attempts on bedposts and furniture or first of all only on the hands and feet.
Soft bondage also allows you to gradually increase the intensity of domination and the inflicted pain. Sex toys and bondage tools such as riding sticks, spreader bars or blindfolds may already have a role to play here!
Hard Bondage – the end of closed season
Before you feel that you have reached hard bondage, you can already see it. It thrives on lustful toys, bondage tools, belts, gags, lacquer and leather. The attraction lies within the total abandonment of all freedom of movement and action. When it comes to pain, firmness and the proverbial sound, speed is also increased - and the desire rises automatically! A framework of trust and a safe word is all the more important, precisely because things are getting tougher.
Full body suits - so-called catsuits - with a closable hood made of latex or leather, mouth gag and even entire rooms with special bondage furniture distinguish the hard bondage enthusiast from the "softy".
If you want to try hard bondage without rebuilding your own home, you will find countless clubs all over Germany - with or without "support".
Spanking – Fifty shades of blue
Whether hard or soft bondage, spanking is a sensual punishment in all possible degrees of hardness and perfect for foreplay and pleasure pain tests. It's fun when you use your flat hand or various tools. But don't overdo it, or you'll get bruises!
Japanese Bondage – Shibari
That's just typical Japanese style, pushing handicraft techniques to absolute perfection and almost turning them into a kind of science. There are countless shibari techniques ranging from simple knots to complex and demanding whole body fixations.
Shibari is not only used to immobilize submissive persons but is also intentionally executed in a very aesthetic way and represents an art form of its own in Japan. The tied person becomes an art object. The bondage artist, the "Rigger", stages certain body parts and regions very erotically, makes the pain of lust visible and/or fixes the submissive person, the "bunny", in special positions.
Preparation: Important to Bondage-Rookies
A certain amount of risk is a key factor in feeling the thrill - but the greatest pleasure is to stay below critical limits. This lets it last longer, become more intense and fulfilling for both sides.
Safe-word
Make sure to set a safe-word first, to avoid unpleasant and painful experiences! Crossed borders do not only leave scars on the outside. Little tip: Don't use something like "harder" or words that are way too complicated.
Talking
Communication is not only important in dominating and humiliating people, but mainly before anything happens. First of all, talk about whether you both feel like it at all and also about how far you could imagine to go. You can always push up the pace, but sometimes it can be too late to slow down. Stay in that communication mode even during the first bondage attempts. With a little bit of routine, you will be able to do everything with body language: An insanely intimate experience!
Slap-by-slap: Increase slowly!
Even blindfolded eyes or tied up hands can trigger an increased sense of pleasure for bondage rookies in both roles. Bondage needs to be learned, otherwise it won't be what you hope for. Even Christian Grey did not come out of nowhere. And by the way: Create a comfort zone for the both of you. That's important for Dom and Sub to be able to fit perfectly into the respective role. Leave the zone again and again, but in conscious steps - and enjoy each of them!
Doing it right; Important bondage-knots
Those who want to go the classical way and are more into ropes than handcuffs should know these three seductive basic knots:
- Cross knot - connects two ropes and is easily detachable
- Figure-eighth knot - to secure the ends and knots in the middle of a rope
- Palstek - for tying a tight loop to tie your hands, for example
Ropes, hand cuffs & co: bondage equipment
Bondage-Ropes
These should be made of untreated natural fibres and should not be too elastic, otherwise the limbs are usually cut off too much when tied up. A couple of minutes in a tumble dryer or a little body oil make them more skin-friendly and supple. For the purchase: Prefer Sex-Shop over of DIY store!
Tip: When lacing joints and the like, always leave a tight finger wide room for manoeuvres .
Bondage tape
Bondage tape that only sticks to itself, but not to the body. As a beginner this is a way to try the manual "packing" of your partner.
Bondage hand-cuffs & bonds
With these, it's break-time for the "good cop": handcuffs and shackles are perfect to quickly and easily make clear who is in power and to bring the sub into a submissive position. Be it behind the back or on the bedpost, they should never be too close together.
Handcuffs and shackles are available in all imaginable materials, colours and finishes: From gothic to plush. Often, they come as part of a set and can be easily upgraded later with more complex toys and tools.
Catsuits & co – bondage clothing
Special clothing is mainly interesting for the sub. Probably the most famous one is the cat suit: A one-piece suit made of latex or leather with attractive openings, eyelets for bondage and hoods for facial wrappings. It is often equipped with zippers so that the dom can decide what the sub can expect, when and where - and what it can see or experience. The seductive variety of bondage clothing ranges from briefs with anal dildos to hand-knotted rope bodies - there's actually nothing that doesn't exist. A discovery tour in shops and blogs is worthwhile.
Sextoys for bondage
The selection is so broad that you don't even know where to start - but you certainly don't want to stop!
Dildos, plugs and love balls can be used with just as much pleasure as riding sticks, hot wax or nipple clamps. The crucial point is where you want to go with it - and how tough the path is supposed to be.
Sex toys with electro-stimulation literally offer special tension! Pleasurably sparkling impulses, which can be built up on and within the body to a pulsating power-devotion gap. This brings Dom and Sub into ecstasy from prelude to climax. The harmless, but extremely pleasurable electrical impulses give the dom a lot of power, which can be easily dosed in exciting intervals. And the sub is guaranteed to lose him- or herself in this intense stimulation. E-Stim Toys are available in different variations - from compact and special to complex and versatile.
Risks and dangers of bondage
Of course, there are risks - but these are, in addition to the sensual play of power and devotion, somehow a welcome part of the BDSM cult. As a fascinating thrill for that extra kick of lust.
But only to the extent that you can really calculate the risk - this applies especially to the dom. Basically, only what pleases both is allowed!
The basic rules SSC - "Safe, Sane and Consensual" - which translate as "safe, considered and consensual" and which are recognised throughout the entire BDSM scene, should be regarded as basic rules without exception.
The body is often the best guide: There is a clear difference between "hot" pain, i. e. lust pain, and totally unpleasant pain caused by euphoric haste or amateurish behaviour. Absolute no-go's are:
- no safe-word set!
- gags and games that hinder breathing!
- too tightly laced ropes, too tightly tied hand cuffs, straps or tapes.
- positions of limbs that cannot last that long, but are difficult to loosen.
- a glass of "courage wine" too much to distort your perception and inhibitions
Take our tips to heart and be sensitive.
Bondage workshops
Cold water can be very stimulating during bondage, but you don't have to jump in together!
Many sex and BDSM experts offer professional bondage classes for beginners, which can be taken as groups, individuals or couples. Dare to take lessons, then you'll dare more later. And don't lose, for example, through misadventures, minor injuries or breakdowns, the painstakingly charged sexual tension - which makes it all so special and exciting.
Either way, love each other, take each other hard and enjoy your roles!
Now!
